More than once, when I talked to someone about this journey and answered the question "is your husband going with you?", the response was something like this: "and he let you do this alone??". Sometimes this would be followed by a comment about how the speaker (always a man) would never let his wife do something like this.

Okay. Well. Let's talk about love, freedom and independence.

Ben and I have been a couple since the summer I turned 17. We have been married for over 10 years. When we were engaged and planning our wedding, many people told me we were too young, that I would regret this later, that I should take more time to date around and give myself space and time to grow into my own. My voice teacher, however, said "honey, you will grow together". This became our truth. We grew together over the next decade. Our relationship strengthened, we learned together how adulting sucks sometimes, and learned that going to the orchestra and backpacking bring us both joy. We have become better people together.

We have also grown individually, come into our own, independently. A relationship does not mean you don't have the freedom to be your own person. Our relationship gives us both space to grow individually, and the other half will watch their flourishing partner with pride and joy.

Yesterday, I voted for a woman for president. This election has shown the power of SHE. Women can be leaders and wives, independent and have a strong marriage, nurturing and a badass. If a woman can run for president, and win the popular vote, I most certainly shouldn't have to explain how/why my husband let me take this road trip alone.

No one "let" me do anything. I decided to take this trip, and did it. Ben might have come with me if he had enough vacation time, but he didn't, so I went alone. He had his moments of worry, but trusted that I would make smart decisions, and trusted the rest of the world enough not to assume that the worst would happen. Some decisions we make together, and others we make independently. This was not something I needed my husband's permission to do. I had his full support, but taking this vision quest was my decision and mine alone. This is what love, freedom and independence looks like in the 21st Century. Let's make sure it stays that way.