miscarriage

Stepping under my cloud

Living with infertility is like walking through life with a dark cloud over your head, while everything beyond arms reach is bright and sunny. It can be incredibly isolating, even more so when you are vulnerable and share your truth with the people around you, people in the sun, and they express how sorry they are […]

In the absence of choice

We spend every day of our lives making choices, big and small. What to study in school, how to spend your paycheck, when to get out of bed (snuggle the pets for another few minutes or shower and get ready for work?), what city to live in, what to wear to the holiday party. We […]

Mother, father, child

You made me a mother. From the second I saw the second line, you were mine and I was going to share this world with you. Your daddy stared at me in shock when I told him, and over the two weeks you were with us, we talked about what life would be like with […]

Juniper Trees

“A beautiful thing is never perfect”- Egyptian ProverbIt is impossible to quickly travel from the Grand Canyon’s North Rim to South Rim, a fact I learned while driving toward the North Rim, racing the sun, with a worsening cold. I left Antelope Canyon sometime after noon, intending to drive to the North Rim for views and […]

Protect Your Heart

Most of us go through life taking care of others. We make hot soup for our spouse or child when they are sick. We become caretakers for an ailing parent or grandparent. We bring lasagna to our cousin who just had a baby, in a disposable pan so they don’t have to worry about washing […]

Omens

“In order to find the treasure, you will have to follow the omens. God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you.”- Paulo Coelho, The AlchemistI once found omens fascinating, a fairy-tale-like idea that you never experienced yourself. I looked for them, hoped […]

When the Holidays Hurt

The holiday season is joyful for most, filled with cheer, happiness, reflecting on the past year with gratitude, and looking forward to the coming year with hope, excitement, and the promise of a clean slate. But for some, the impending holidays and new year break open a wound that may have just begun to heal, […]

Yosemite

The world is just so beautiful- AilieCamping in Yosemite National Park requires strict use of the provided bear lockers, as bears are so prevalent food is not safe in your tent or car. I woke in the middle of the night to shouting somewhere nearby, accompanied by a loud banging on one such locker. What […]

Vision Quest

When I would tell people I was going to take a three week road trip without my husband, the most common response (whether said out loud or implied by body language and facial expressions) was, “Why?” The introverts, after I explained my intended path from the Twin Cities to Los Angeles and back, showed excitement […]